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How to stop limerence

The Experience of Being In Love to describe an involuntary state of deep obsession and infatuation with another person. She interviewed people in the throes of an obsessive love,...

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Limerence - Wikipedia


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Limerence is a state of mind which results from a romantic attraction to another person and typically includes obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to form or maintain a relationship with the object of love and have one's feelings reciprocated. Psychologist Dorothy Tennov coined the term "limerence" for her book, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love , to describe a concept that had grown out of her work in the mids, when she interviewed over people on the topic of love.

Limerence, which is not exclusively sexual, has been defined in terms of its potentially inspirational effects and in relation to attachment theory. It has been described as being "an involuntary potentially inspiring state of adoration and attachment to a limerent object LO involving intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings and behaviors from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation".

Attachment theory emphasizes that "many of the most intense emotions arise during the formation, the maintenance, the disruption, and the renewal of attachment relationships". The concept of 'limerence' "provides a particular carving up of the semantic domain of love", [6] and represents an attempt at a scientific study of the nature of love. Limerence is considered as a cognitive and emotional state of being emotionally attached to or even obsessed with another person, and is typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings—a near-obsessive form of romantic love.

Limerence is sometimes also interpreted as infatuation , or what is colloquially known as a "crush". However, in common speech, infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolation from insufficient information, and is usually short-lived. Tennov notes how limerence "may dissolve soon after its initiation, as in an early teenage buzz-centered crush", [9] but she is more concerned with the point when "limerent bonds are characterized by 'entropy' crystallization as described by Stendhal in his treatise On Love , where a new love infatuation perceptually begins to transform According to Tennov, there are at least two types of love: Limerence is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual.

She left the party, thinking not much of it besides the fact that she had a nice conversation with a handsome man. In spiritual world, they say that there is no escape, we are forever bonded, but I really can't live with this the rest of my life. We need to explore these early life wounds and get reconnected to our feelings that we cut off from in early life.

So I had to live thru and hear about the girlfriends in his life. The strong love for my husband and his sweet treatment have given me energy to go through this situation and to heal my mind.

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That said, there is to a woeful lack of research on treatments fitted limerence. Our LO's are just catalysts. They are mirrors that show us our own difficulties in forming healthy relationships. There is no magical other, no quick fix utterly the emotional turmoil.

If we leave our modern relationship to be with LO, we take ourselves and all our irrational baggage with us and miss the opportunity of doing some really intense and important growth include.

The main reason is that contact with LO stimulates your limerence. Conjunction with LO just re-energizes your emotional ties. Alongside the way, if you slip up, just dust yourself off, forgive yourself and go back to your plan. Contact means every kind of telephone. You'll do well to cut off all collective media contact, too.

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Firstly, defer lull.

How to stop limerence

Therefore I stop seeing her and stop going on my facebook. He is the stable presense in my life. Tennov describes such couples as "old marrieds" whose interactions are typically both stable and mutually gratifying. We've never been past 1st base. I know this is stupid as hell since I am married and never had anything with this guy, but he will always have a place in my heart.

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4 thoughts on “How to stop limerence

  1. The term limerence, coined in by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, describes an obsessive, painful love with physical characteristics of heartache i.

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